I am so fucking pissed off with this family. They know I need to wash the pipette I use and brush my teeth at 9am, so what do they do every fucking day that I’m here? Get in the fucking shower at 9fuckingam. I seriously cannot wait to move into my parents’ where I’ll have my own fucking bathroom that my sister won’t use because she’s already gone by 8am.

I fucking hate living here. There’s only one bathroom and everyone is a fucking selfish twat. The MOMENT I take my meds and need to wash the pipette before going back to sleep which I very much need, someone walks into the fucking bathroom and locks the door so I have to go back in my room, rummage around to find my pyjama pants then go downstairs JUST TO WASH MY FUCKING PIPETTE! And what happens when I get back to my room? THEY FUCKING LEAVE THE FUCKING BATHROOM! I fucking hate living here so fucking much.

I cannot wait until I move out of here. Seriously, I can’t even begin to explain how angry I get with this family. And I can’t even say anything because they’re my family.

I don’t know if things will get better when I move back with my parents but at least my room will be slightly more removed from all the noise as it’s on the third floor, though Helen being next door could pose a problem… And if my dad never lets me sit in my room and draw or read or play video games then I may just go insane.

But today has been fucking ridiculous. I have had a massive migraine all day and instead of being respectful, everyone decided to whistle, coo stupidly at the cats, play the piano ridiculously loud, watch tv at a stupid volume, slam doors and shout at each other. Can I not lay in my room in the dark and quiet? Obviously not.

At least I’m going to Mike’s tomorrow. Though I start EMDR tomorrow so that’s not going to be fun.

I am so sick of my grandparents telling me about college and uni as if I don’t know anything about it. And stop telling me to do my best because I am fucking doing my fucking best but that’s obviously not fucking good enough because no one’s fucking noticing and I’m fucking failing anyway because I am a fucking failure. And it’s not just the people I hate at college it’s everything. I hate performing arts and I am so sick of working my ass off for it when I’m not even going anywhere in it.

I was in an okay mood before dinner. I am fucking done with living with my grandparents. Every time we have a conversation, I end up hating myself even more.

I’m getting really angry at my laptop now. I’m trying to play the Sims 3 but it keeps turning itself off. I haven’t even made a character yet!

Great, now even the YogBox isn’t working. What the fuck is wrong with my laptop? Why doesn’t it like Minecraft?

I am so sick of my grandma stealing my chips or prawn crackers.

I let it slide before because she was paying, but I paid for my Chinese tonight so I’m not letting her steal it. Fucking pisses me off.

Stop changing the fucking layout, YouTube! It’s fucking annoying and doesn’t work half the time! The last layout was fine!

Can I just put this out there;

Just because someone cannot describe what has happened to them, does not mean nothing has happened to them.

In fact, it could be that it was so horrific and terrifying to them that they can’t even put it into words, or even think about it without feeling sick or falling into a horrible flashback.

And just because you think you’ve been through hell, does not mean you can degrade someone else’s hell and say yours was worse.

I seriously want to punch something.

Were cn i go were ppl dnt wryt lik dis?

It’s fucking annoying.

It doesn’t take any effort whatsoever to write proper English.

Ugh.

Fuck sake.

So my grandma says we’re going to the pub for lunch to celebrate my performance and I ask if it can be a late lunch because I’m exhausted.

They fucking left without me at 1pm.

Yeah, ‘cause that’s a late fucking lunch!

The next time someone uses the water while I’m in the shower, I’m going to leave it running.

I need my own place, by myself where no one can piss me off.

I’m getting so fucking angry.

She’s blatantly lying to my mum about this now.

When you live by yourself, you can bathe whenever the fuck you like.

But when there are other people in the house who are trying to sleep, it is absolutely unacceptable.

Try being considerate of others.